


Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier's Buzzfeed Puppy Interview

by DedicatedDreamSellers



Series: IT Characters Do Interviews [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: All the Losers had a crush on Bill Denbrough, Bill Denbrough is big dumb, Complete crack fic, M/M, Reddie gets a puppy, Richie does a Buzzfeed Interview
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DedicatedDreamSellers/pseuds/DedicatedDreamSellers
Summary: Pretty self-explanatory... But Richie Tozier does a Buzzfeed Interview, not realizing the amount of puppies involved wasn't zero.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: IT Characters Do Interviews [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606240
Comments: 3
Kudos: 124





	Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier's Buzzfeed Puppy Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, again. So, this one is not as chaotic as our last one, but it's still kind of funny. I'm really sorry. ALSO quick side note, Richie and Eddie would definitely have PTSD around Pomeranians after IT: Chapter 2 and that is exactly why we chose the that specific dog.

Richie Tozier’s Buzzfeed Puppy Interview:  
*Richie comes to a Buzzfeed Interview, not knowing it was a puppy interview. He walks into the room with his husband, Edward Kaspbrak-Tozier, to see a room full of Pomeranian puppies*

EDDIE: Oh, you picked the wrong dog.  
PRODUCER: What do you mean?  
EDDIE: You just picked the wrong dog!  
*Richie is clearly nervous as he sits down, surrounded by Pomeranian pups. Once he finally sits down, a puppy trots over to him and sits on his lap.*  
RICHIE: Okay, I hate this. 

INTERVIEWER: Alright, let’s get started. What made you want to become a comedian?

RICHIE: *Less uncomfortable than before* I like attention, have no filter, and am riddled with childhood trauma and anxiety.

INTERVIEWER: In your last Netflix special, you came out as gay. What made you realize you were gay?

RICHIE: Bill Denbrough. I can honestly say that Ben was the only one of us that didn’t have a crush on Bill at one point.

EDDIE, off camera: *sighs* yeah.

INTERVIEWER: You also got married recently. Do you want to elaborate more on that?

RICHIE: I absolutely do! Eddie is my favorite topic, well, to give my run down, Bill MAY have been my first crush but Eddie has been the love of my life since we were 12. I fell in love with him because he’s adorable, brave, and the SINGLE funniest person I have ever met. 

INTERVIEWER: Wow, so you’ve known each other for a while.

RICHIE: Oh, yeah. We grew up together.

INTERVIEWER: How’d you handle that crush as a child?

RICHIE: Basically, I’d make jokes about fucking his mom just so that I could get his attention and one time, I was outed at the arcade and hate crimed by a clown in the same day so I craved mine and Ed’s initials in the Kissing Bridge and just hoped that he’d never see it.

EDDIE, off camera: BITCH, THAT WAS YOU?!

RICHIE: Holy shit, you saw?

*Camera pans over to Eddie, holding a puppy*

EDDIE: Yeah, not only did I see that shit, I carved a heart with an ‘R’ in it with my keys right next to it!

RICHIE, off camera: Awwww! See, we were meant for each other!

EDDIE: Fuck you

*Camera pans back to Richie, petting a puppy’s head with the slightest unease*

RICHIE: Love you too, Spaghetti!

INTERVIEWER: You mentioned growing up with William Denbrough. What was he like as a child?

RICHIE: He was a fucking moron. Like all I wanted to do was go to the arcade and go swimming but noooo, we had to go play in the sewers and go into crack houses. Like, he’s one of the greatest people I know but I also an intense hatred for him.

INTERVIEWER: You also have a close relationship with Beverly Marsh. How did you two become friends?

RICHIE: My friend, Ben, got shanked and she helped us steal medical supplies and a day later, jumped off a cliff and called us pussies and that’s when I realized that I will never meet anyone cooler than Bev and that we needed to be best friends!

INTERVIEWER: And this was, what 10-11 years ago?

RICHIE: We were 13.

INTERVIEWER: Wow, you’re childhood was wild!

RICHIE: That’s just the tip of the iceberg, baby, but you’ll have to watch my upcoming special, ‘Clown Town’, for more childhood trauma. *winks at the camera*

INTERVIEWER: Now, do your friends and family watch your specials?

RICHIE: Yeah, I usually get everyone tickets to the show then when the specials come out on Netflix, I force all of them to watch it because I want those ratings! I think the only person who genuinely likes my specials is my dad, mostly because I got my sense of humor from him.

INTERVIEWER: While on the topic of your father, what is the funniest thing your dad has said to you that hasn’t made it into your specials?

RICHIE: Oh God, that's a hard one because everything that Wentworth says is pure gold, but yesterday, I found out that my niece has been teaching him slang because I sent him a draft of some new material and his response was ‘That really snatched my weave, son’ and I cried for a solid half an hour.

INTERVIEWER: Is your niece a fan of yours as well?

RICHIE: Oh, yeah. She watches it behind her mom’s back because my sister is a decent mother and I’m a terrible influence which is why my niece loves me.

INTERVIEWER: OK, and I think we can squeeze in one more question. What is in your new special that you think will draw people to watch?

RICHIE: Well, I talked a lot about Eddie and when I talk about him, everybody gets hyped. I play the kazoo at one point, and talked about childhood trauma, which always gets a laugh.

EDDIE, off camera: Can I keep this dog?

RICHIE: They bonded, so I guess I have a dog now.

**Author's Note:**

> SO. Maggie and Wentworth Tozier are good parents, Bill is big stupid, everyone in the Loser's Club had a crush on Bill at one point (with the exception of our token straight, Ben Hanscom), and Richie and Eddie now have a puppy named Holly. Thank you for coming and we are very sorry.


End file.
